The Digitally Remastered Shakespearian Theater
by Crayon
Summary: Tai, Izzy, and Matt, clad in tight leather pants take on a challenge not yet, um, taken! Shakespeare! Whoopah!


Shakespeare!

Hey there! It's me! I recently cleaned out my disk and discovered with much amazement that... I had NO half-finished stories sitting around! So I was watching T.V. one day, and saw the Reduced Shakespearian Company do a show and I LOVED it! So this is my version of it! Hope ya like it!  
  
Disclaimer- It will come to pass, that every Braggart shall be found an ass.  
  
-William Shakespeare  
  
That's what I think of FoxKids, Toei, and Bandai! *blows raspberries at them*  
Oh yea.. I don't own Digimon.  
  
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The Digitally Remastered Shakespearian Theater  
  


  
Good Day to you all! Welcome to the Royal Shakespearian Theater, the show where every thing is made up and the points don't matter! Tai yelled to the a little less than enthusiastic crowd from the barren stage, with only a backdrop of some arches and buildings where there were two small doors for actors to come out.  
  
Matt walked out onto the stage, toothbrush in mouth, hair untidy, and wearing a pair of leather pants... only. That's Whose Line, idiot. Now get on with da preface. Matt waved at the girls in the front row.  
  
They promptly fainted.  
  
Tai groaned. So as I was saying! Matt and Izzy, who are getting ready backstage, and me, the trio', are going to act out all kinds of Shakespeare's greatest plays! And we can act! Tai announced with his arms out, smiling widely.  
  
Crickets chirped in the background.  
  
Izzy stalked out onto the empty stage, with the program to the show. Tai! Listen up, we should have started ten minutes ago! He pointed to his watch frantically. Umm.. the first play up is Romeo and Juliet. PLACES! Izzy screamed.  
  
Tai ran and dropped dead on the ground. Izzy slapped his forehead. Tai! Get up, you dumbass, this isn't the final scene!   
  
Tai got up, grumbling. Well, it would save time...  
  
Izzy looked at his watch. According to my calculations, we have about five minutes to act each play by Shakespeare. He sighed, and looked out at the audience. This is going to be a long night... Prepare. Izzy went backstage.  
  
Tai cleared his throat. I Romeo, am going in hiding, to a ball. Tai put on a cheap Scream mask. Lord Capulet is having this ball, and the hearsay is that Rosaline the fair, will be there. Tai took off the mask and looked at the audience grinning. And I hear that she is a sight for sore eyes...  
  
Izzy popped out from the arched doorway in his leather pants and white shirt. Good day! I am Lord Capulet! This is my exclusive party... He announced. That means no Montagues. They smell funny and eat too much of my food. Izzy put on his nice black mask.   
  
May I introduce you, Capulet, to my lovely daughter, Juliet! Izzy motioned to the door. Nothing happened.  
  
Ahem! May I introduce Juliet! Izzy yelled.  
  
Matt staggered out. He was wearing a grey wig, and a skirt over his pants that was falling down. Why do I have to be Juliet? He whined.  
  
Cause that wig would never fit over Tai's hair! hissed Izzy.   
  
Tai, utterly disgusted, went over to Matt/Juliet cautiously. Er... May I have this dance... fair *gulp* lady?  
  
Matt answered in a high girlish squeak. You may, good sir Capulet! Matt raised his hand. Tai grimaced.  
  
Good sir Capulet! You're the guy here, so lead already! yelled Matt in his normal voice.   
  
Sure. Whatever. Tai tripped over his own feet dancing, and managed to trip over Matt's feet, and Izzy's feet, and a stray banana peel from an audience member.  
  
Tai steamed and went over to the stage to the front row. Hey dude! I saw you throw that banana peel! Think how the actors here feel, for once! Don't be such a little ungrateful bastard!  
  
Izzy clamped a hand over Tai's mouth. He didn't mean to call you that, honestly... He let go. Let's just skip ahead to the scene where Romeo and Juliet die. We have less than a minute.  
  
Matt stepped forward. Due to the lack of time, we have to skip ahead to the die die die scene. We skip over... umm.. the sword fight between the Montagues and Capulets, and the famous balcony scene... and stuff... All righty! The famous die die die!' scene! Where Juliet has pretended to be dead and Romeo finds her in the grave...  
  
Izzy had gone down and sat by a pretty girl in the first row. This is Matt's favorite part. He gets to handle weapons. She giggled.  
  
Tai jumped out into the now dimmed stage holding a rose. He looked down at Matt in his dress and wig. He had rolled his eyes back in his head and his tounge was hanging out.  
  
God... this is so embarrassing... Tai took a bottle from his pants pocket. Wait! Hey Izzy, do I poison myself, or stab myself?  
  
Izzy looks in the script. You kiss Juliet and then poison yourself.  
  
yells Matt/Juliet and Tai/Romeo.  
  
Why can't Sora or Mimi or ANY girl or somebody be here? Why did three guys have to preform this? Why? WHY?? Tai and Matt whine.  
  
Izzy smiles.   
  
Ohh Kay! Tai cracks his knuckles and says in a monotone, Oh dear. I have found my beloved Juliet and she is dead. She is no more. She has kicked the bucket. Etc.   
  
Tai winces, and quickly kisses Matt. The audience roars with laughter. SHUT UP! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE DRAMATIC! Tai cries.   
  
Tai reaches for the flask with the poison, and drinks it. Hey, tastes like Kool-Aid! he announced loudly. Oh yea... I die now, don't I? Tai puts his hands to his neck and collapses.  
  
Matt wakes up, yawning. What a nice little nap! he says in his high-pitched girly voice. OH! Romeo! Hark! He is dead! Matt held his hand to his heart. Now, for some insane reason, I kill myself!   
  
Matt picks up the flask. Alas! My poor Romeo, being the hog he is, has drank all the poison for himself! I will take this knife, (Matt/Juliet pulls out a knife from skirt pocket) And shall kill myself!  
  
Matt winces, as he pokes himself with the knife, preparing for the worst. The knife doesn't even cut him, as the blade falls back when touched to anything. Hey hey! Matt goes around, poking himself with the knife in suggestible places. He then waltzes around the audience, fake barfing on members.  
  
BWaaaahHH! BwaaaAAGG! And here's a little for you, sir! BwWAAAGGgg! Matt finally gets himself under control, and falls dead' beside Romeo.  
  
Izzy runs up behind them wearing a brown friar suit. And thus ends, the story of Juliet, and her fair Romeo. The lights dim, and the audience roars with applause.  
  
THANK YOU, THANK YOU! MY NUMBER IS 555-6700! Tai yells out into the audience.  
  
Hey, Tai! We aren't done yet!  
  
  
  
Only five thousand more plays to go. says Matt, brushing his wig off.  
  
And there was much rejoicing. Tai grumbled.  
  
Izzy clapped his hands together. I think we all need a break from this, so if anyone is interested, during the intermission there are cookies and juice out in the Hall of Mirrors...   
  
The audience was missing.  
  
And there was much rejoicing.  
  
  
  


INTERMISSION  
  


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Read and Review, in the meantime!


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